TEEN DATING VIOLENCE -vs- ADULT VIOLENCE


What makes dating abuse in teen relationships different from adult domestic abuse?

Experience:  Lack of experience with dating relationships

Parents:  Some teens do not want their parents to know for fear they would not be able to see the abuser any more if they are still in the relationship.  They fear their parents won't trust their decision making skills.  They are afraid of the reaction their parents would make and what they might do to the abuser or the abuser's parents.

School:  Some teen victims attend the same school as the abuser so at the very least, they would see the abuser daily.  Worst case scenario, this could pose a serious safety risk to the victim.  Even when restraining orders are in place, the abuser has certain rights that can make safety planning difficult.

In many cases, there are no other schools close by for the victim to change schools or policy may restrict the change.  Busing could pose challenges also if the abuser is on the same bus as the victim.

State laws make it difficult for a minor to get services or for the abuser to be punished.

Resources:  There are fewer resources available for help for teens.  The types of problems teen face are different from those adults face.  Transportation is limited, the law limits protection, parental permission is often required or reporting at the very least.  Teens don't always have money to seek shelter or a safe place to go.  They worry about confidentiality, reports to the police, and child protective services and parental notification.

In a lot of cases, you would assume that a child seeking help would have nothing to worry about, that the adults in her life would take care of her.  However, teens worry about appearances, don't want to feel stupid, and of course, with the lower self-esteem caused by the abuse, have feelings that they are some how at fault for the treatment they have been receiving.

Talk to your son or daughter about teen dating violence.  Make sure he or she knows you are there for them the moment a relationship turns abusive, help her make the right choices.  Help her gain the courage to say NO!  One in three will NOT be me!

No comments:

Post a Comment